I just had to leave New Jersey. They were willing to pay me 58K an year but it didn't make sense, I never wanted to be a SAP Consultant. I came back to San Francisco. After purchasing the flight ticket, I only had a couple of dollars left which were nothing more than peanuts in a city like San Francisco.
Although the first few weeks went fine, i mean i didn't have a job but at least a place to crash. I stayed with a friend at the motel he used to work. Room no.100. To be frank, I wasn't living, I was hiding - if the owner would come to know of me sneaking in and out of the motel, we both could have gotten kicked out. It was more than just embarrassing.
But all the good and bad things come to an end right..i had to move out of that place coz' my friend was going back to India. It was even more difficult because just a few months ago I used to rent a studio for myself in this city and suddenly I am trying hard to find a place to sleep.
By then, i was posting my resumes to find a job while working as a clerk at a gas station. I needed an advance for a room I found close to my workplace. I started working double shifts to earn extra money and it would also serve my purpose of being somewhere than being anywhere. I used to work 16hours straight-4pm to 8am and would sleep at the back of a taxi car parked at the gas station. Would hardly get 6-7 hours sleep, would grab something at a local deli and get back to my 16hr routine.
If i worked during the day, the Muni would take care of me at night. I will never forget the 22 bus line which ran from Fillmore to the Potrero hill. The night sights & lights, the empty streets of San Francisco still move in front of my eyes, whenever i feel nostalgic. I would hop-on the bus, sleep to the last stop, wait for the next bus to start, basically do this the whole night.
I was never really ashamed of what i put myself through. I have learn't to appreciate the little things we usually ignore and take for granted. Moreover, I never really imagined i was capable of going through such a phase. As much as i have learnt from my experiences, i have learn't a part of myself.
After all, it's only on the edge we know who we really are...
-Varűn: 08-02-11
August 2, 2011
March 21, 2011
An Adventure Opportunist
First of all how do we define Adventure?
Is it a roller coaster ride, a hike in a park or a cross country drive?
In this technological advanced world, we plan everything, and we know what we are getting into because we've researched all details of our trip on Trip advisor and guidebooks, or have asked a travel agent to arrange all details of our trips. Yet we call our trips to faraway places an “adventure”.We ourselves have eliminate the opportunity to rediscover the authenticity of life, which a travel can offer. And we end up returning home the same as when we left. I think the word adventure is over used and ripped apart but really, adventure is something that happens when you don't plan for it. Ok, lets put it in an other way. What's the most memorable moment in our travel? Based on my experiences, what sticks out for me is the moment when things go unexpected, even for a little while. Such situations stay with us because they are more real.
For me travel has never really been about the destination. It has always been about the journey and the experiences I have encountered through my choices along the way.
The most unexplored territory in the world is My Life. Becoming an adventurer for me just does not limit to travel. Adventure is not a start-stop switch where you want to experience it while you are traveling and don't while you're not. For me, it is about making a commitment to explore my life each and every day. All it really takes is a shift in focus — a movement toward breaking out of our usual ruts and grasping the adventure in every moment, every experience.
I guess I have internalized my sense of the adventure and I must live up to it alone.
-Varűn: 30-03-11
Q & A
Why go alone?
Its just a chance to be alone with your thoughts, to get to the point where you just are just experiencing what there is to feel and to be in the moment here.
I mean its kinda selfish but it heightens the experience of what there is,
Testing yourself, pushing the limits, the self reliance becomes the bigger part of the experience when you are by yourself.
-Varűn: 22-03-11
November 1, 2009
Leap of Faith
Time: 8am
Day: Thursday
Location: Watsonville Municipal Airport
I had thing little crazy thing in my mind about heights from a very early age. Whenever I am on a high rise building or any great height for that matter, i always used to ask myself the question "What happens if we fall from here?" Although the answer is the same every time, it didn't stop me from thinking about it. I always wanted to experience the feeling of falling.
Anyways, skydiving, for me is not exactly a fascination but more of a doubt. Sometimes, i feel it's not my cup of tea and most of the time i convince myself that i would attempt it at a later part in my life, which was bugging me for a while and i had to get it cleared off my head. So i decided to give it a shot.I wanted to see whether i could push myself to the limit and take the leap of faith.
It was a cold and cloudy morning and after a few instructions, i was all geared up and ready to go. I still couldn't believe what i got my myself into. I was neither excited nor scared. It was more of a confused state of mind. It was curious.
All I remember asking the pilot was "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
After a few minutes, at 13,000 ft. the pilot replied "Ok, this is it".
Not until the door opened and i felt the sudden gush of wind, that i realized that this is no joke. That's when the reality of it struck me.
With one leg on the wheel of the plane and the other hanging in midair, I had to make a split second decision. Whether to jump or get back to the base, drive back home and pretend nothing happened.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQE9UVAq6Rw
Day: Thursday
Location: Watsonville Municipal Airport
I had thing little crazy thing in my mind about heights from a very early age. Whenever I am on a high rise building or any great height for that matter, i always used to ask myself the question "What happens if we fall from here?" Although the answer is the same every time, it didn't stop me from thinking about it. I always wanted to experience the feeling of falling.
Anyways, skydiving, for me is not exactly a fascination but more of a doubt. Sometimes, i feel it's not my cup of tea and most of the time i convince myself that i would attempt it at a later part in my life, which was bugging me for a while and i had to get it cleared off my head. So i decided to give it a shot.I wanted to see whether i could push myself to the limit and take the leap of faith.
It was a cold and cloudy morning and after a few instructions, i was all geared up and ready to go. I still couldn't believe what i got my myself into. I was neither excited nor scared. It was more of a confused state of mind. It was curious.
All I remember asking the pilot was "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
After a few minutes, at 13,000 ft. the pilot replied "Ok, this is it".
Not until the door opened and i felt the sudden gush of wind, that i realized that this is no joke. That's when the reality of it struck me.
With one leg on the wheel of the plane and the other hanging in midair, I had to make a split second decision. Whether to jump or get back to the base, drive back home and pretend nothing happened.
And then i realized that if i bail out at that moment, i would have to live with that uncomfortable feeling of regret for a very long time. There was no turning back.
I had to do it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQE9UVAq6Rw
-Varűn: 11-01-09
October 24, 2009
Last year, after graduating, i thought of celebrating the occasion by myself.
After careful consideration of the available alternatives, I decided to hike the Montara Mountain, which lies just 28 miles south of San Francisco.
After an hour of bus ride from San Francisco, I reached the small town of Montara. Since it was already evening by then, I headed off to the montara lighthouse to spend the night there.
It was a cold and breezy night but I had one of the best sleeps in a very long time. I cant really describe the fine moment but all i could see and hear were the stars in the sky and the waves in the ocean.
The next morning, after loitering around the beach and the town for a while, I began to walk along Highway 1. It was early afternoon by the time I reached the base of Montara Mountain.
Almost half way up, i couldn't see a soul around. After an hour or so, i reached a point where i couldn't go any further. I couldn't risk hiking further because i had to get back to the base at least before sunset.
I found a cozy place to rest for a while and enjoy the breathtaking view. I took some time to ponder about the moment, and the reason for me celebrate it.
The process of living -- the people and the experiences that shaped my fundamental understanding of myself and the world around me. And all the things i have learned from the situations and circumstances, during my stay in a foreign land, which made me what i am as a person today.
I knew then and there that this would last as one of the finest experiences in my life.....
It's more than a year since that day passed
but i still can't explain or put in words that particular feeling I felt that day. It was like everything came to a stand still.
No matter what, time and space can never replace such a feeling.....
After careful consideration of the available alternatives, I decided to hike the Montara Mountain, which lies just 28 miles south of San Francisco.
After an hour of bus ride from San Francisco, I reached the small town of Montara. Since it was already evening by then, I headed off to the montara lighthouse to spend the night there.
It was a cold and breezy night but I had one of the best sleeps in a very long time. I cant really describe the fine moment but all i could see and hear were the stars in the sky and the waves in the ocean.
The next morning, after loitering around the beach and the town for a while, I began to walk along Highway 1. It was early afternoon by the time I reached the base of Montara Mountain.
Almost half way up, i couldn't see a soul around. After an hour or so, i reached a point where i couldn't go any further. I couldn't risk hiking further because i had to get back to the base at least before sunset.
I found a cozy place to rest for a while and enjoy the breathtaking view. I took some time to ponder about the moment, and the reason for me celebrate it.
The process of living -- the people and the experiences that shaped my fundamental understanding of myself and the world around me. And all the things i have learned from the situations and circumstances, during my stay in a foreign land, which made me what i am as a person today.
I knew then and there that this would last as one of the finest experiences in my life.....
It's more than a year since that day passed
but i still can't explain or put in words that particular feeling I felt that day. It was like everything came to a stand still.No matter what, time and space can never replace such a feeling.....
-Varűn: 10-25-09
October 5, 2009
October 1, 2009
Books and Speakers
I had this conversation with "sort of" a friend the other day and thought i have blog it...
It's funny when people say, "Dude, you know what, i read this book the other night and it changed my view on life." or "You should listen to this guy when he speaks, its inspiring".
Well, the guy he said he was listening to was a so called "holy man or some kind of a spiritual leader".
First of all, it's just plain stupidity to think that a book or a person can change you views on anything. You can argue otherwise with all the inspirational crap but it is what it is....
I am not referring to this one case in particular, the speaker could be anyone, maybe even Steve Jobs...
What i am trying to say here is that when you listen to a speaker or even read a book, it's only going to evoke your emotions....definitely nothing more than that.
and it's only going to last for a couple of weeks or may be even days and the person goes back to doing what he's been doing all his life.
But, you will definitely gain something more [more than just an experience of emotion], only if you take it to the next level by applying serious thought to whatever you have read or heard....
Otherwise, as i have said before,"Books and Speakers only evoke emotions and their sole purpose is to do so".
Here's a quote:
-Varűn: 10-01-09
It's funny when people say, "Dude, you know what, i read this book the other night and it changed my view on life." or "You should listen to this guy when he speaks, its inspiring".
Well, the guy he said he was listening to was a so called "holy man or some kind of a spiritual leader".
First of all, it's just plain stupidity to think that a book or a person can change you views on anything. You can argue otherwise with all the inspirational crap but it is what it is....
I am not referring to this one case in particular, the speaker could be anyone, maybe even Steve Jobs...
What i am trying to say here is that when you listen to a speaker or even read a book, it's only going to evoke your emotions....definitely nothing more than that.
and it's only going to last for a couple of weeks or may be even days and the person goes back to doing what he's been doing all his life.
But, you will definitely gain something more [more than just an experience of emotion], only if you take it to the next level by applying serious thought to whatever you have read or heard....
Otherwise, as i have said before,"Books and Speakers only evoke emotions and their sole purpose is to do so".
Here's a quote:
What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print.
- Isadora Duncan
-Varűn: 10-01-09
September 11, 2009
Every Man Fights His Own War....
Today I would like to mention about my all time favorite war movie: "The Thin Red Line"...
I was stunned, moved and totally absorbed by this film, even more so on subsequent viewings.
I still remember the day I first watched it on HBO. As the credits appeared, I sat quietly-- still struck in the film's experience......
-Varűn: 09-11-09
I was stunned, moved and totally absorbed by this film, even more so on subsequent viewings.
I still remember the day I first watched it on HBO. As the credits appeared, I sat quietly-- still struck in the film's experience......
-Varűn: 09-11-09
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