Leap of Faith

Time: 8am

Day: Thursday

Location: Watsonville Municipal Airport

I had thing little crazy thing in my mind about heights from a very early age. Whenever I am on a high rise building or any great height for that matter, i always used to ask myself the question "What happens if we fall from here?" Although the answer is the same every time, it didn't stop me from thinking about it. I always wanted to experience the feeling of falling.

Anyways, skydiving, for me is not exactly a fascination but more of a doubt. Sometimes, i feel it's not my cup of tea and most of the time i convince myself that i would attempt it at a later part in my life, which was bugging me for a while and i had to get it cleared off my head. So i decided to give it a shot.I wanted to see whether i could push myself to the limit and take the leap of faith.

It was a cold and cloudy morning and after a few instructions, i was all geared up and ready to go. I still couldn't believe what i got my myself into. I was neither excited nor scared. It was more of a confused state of mind. It was curious.

All I remember asking the pilot was "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

After a few minutes, at 13,000 ft. the pilot replied "Ok, this is it".

Not until the door opened and i felt the sudden gush of wind, that i realized that this is no joke. That's when the reality of it struck me.

With one leg on the wheel of the plane and the other hanging in midair, I had to make a split second decision. Whether to jump or get back to the base, drive back home and pretend nothing happened.

And then i realized that if i bail out at that moment, i would have to live with that uncomfortable feeling of regret for a very long time. There was no turning back.

I had to do it...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQE9UVAq6Rw

-Varűn: 11-01-09

Last year, after graduating, i thought of celebrating the occasion by myself.

After careful consideration of the available alternatives, I decided to hike the Montara Mountain, which lies just 28 miles south of San Francisco.

After an hour of bus ride from San Francisco, I reached the small town of Montara. Since it was already evening by then, I headed off to the montara lighthouse to spend the night there.

It was a cold and breezy night but I had one of the best sleeps in a very long time. I cant really describe the fine moment but all i could see and hear were the stars in the sky and the waves in the ocean.

The next morning, after loitering around the beach and the town for a while, I began to walk along Highway 1. It was early afternoon by the time I reached the base of Montara Mountain.


Almost half way up, i couldn't see a soul around. After an hour or so, i reached a point where i couldn't go any further. I couldn't risk hiking further because i had to get back to the base at least before sunset.

I found a cozy place to rest for a while and enjoy the breathtaking view. I took some time to ponder about the moment, and the reason for me celebrate it.

The process of living -- the people and the experiences that shaped my fundamental understanding of myself and the world around me. And all the things i have learned from the situations and circumstances, during my stay in a foreign land, which made me what i am as a person today.

I knew then and there that this would last as one of the finest experiences in my life.....

It's more than a year since that day passed but i still can't explain or put in words that particular feeling I felt that day. It was like everything came to a stand still.

No matter what, time and space can never replace such a feeling.....

-Varűn: 10-25-09

the other day i packed a bag, skipped work and just set out to find whatever came my way...

-Varűn: 10-05-09

Books and Speakers

I had this conversation with "sort of" a friend the other day and thought i have blog it...

It's funny when people say, "Dude, you know what, i read this book the other night and it changed my view on life." or "You should listen to this guy when he speaks, its inspiring".

Well, the guy he said he was listening to was a so called "holy man or some kind of a spiritual leader".

First of all, it's just plain stupidity to think that a book or a person can change you views on anything. You can argue otherwise with all the inspirational crap but it is what it is....

I am not referring to this one case in particular, the speaker could be anyone, maybe even Steve Jobs...

What i am trying to say here is that when you listen to a speaker or even read a book, it's only going to evoke your emotions....definitely nothing more than that.

and it's only going to last for a couple of weeks or may be even days and the person goes back to doing what he's been doing all his life.

But, you will definitely gain something more [more than just an experience of emotion], only if you take it to the next level by applying serious thought to whatever you have read or heard....

Otherwise, as i have said before,"Books and Speakers only evoke emotions and their sole purpose is to do so".

Here's a quote:

What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print. - Isadora Duncan

-Varűn: 10-01-09

Q & A

Do you ever feel lonely?

Only around people.

-Varűn: 09-11-09

Every Man Fights His Own War....

Today I would like to mention about my all time favorite war movie: "The Thin Red Line"...

I was stunned, moved and totally absorbed by this film, even more so on subsequent viewings.

I still remember the day I first watched it on HBO. As the credits appeared, I sat quietly-- still struck in the film's experience......

-Varűn: 09-11-09

I dont know what exactly, but something in me made me write this..

"Every time I was on the verge of finding something new and extraordinary, I discovered an unexplored part of myself."--Varűn

-Varűn: 09-06-09

not the "Supposed Way"

There's something more than what we're living for".

Most of us grow the "Supposed way". We just do things because we are supposed to or because we are told to do so or just because everyone else does it. We somehow convince ourselves "all the time"...with an iota of genuine thought.

If we are constantly doing what we are doing just because of our fear of tomorrow or because of commitments and responsibilities, we would have truly lost the whole purpose of being alive.

As long as everything is so uncertain, and it is, why worry about all the conditional things life has to offer.

I chose to live not the "Supposed Way".

I interchangeably use Why? and Why not? before every decision i make, however small or big it might be. And then come to a decision without any external influences, through observation but definitely not through comparison.

I would rather live with a problem I cannot solve than accept something that I cannot understand.

Some or lets just say more than some, people around me cannot accept this idea [they don't wont to]..but i am the last person to be bothered by someone else's thought's other than mine.

A friend once asked me,"Are you happy living your life this way? to which i said..

"I wouldn't trade places with anyone in this world." .....

-Varűn: 08-31-09

Inception

Today marks the Inception of my blog....

I named the blog "Empirique" b'coz i truly believe that my knowledge is based upon my experiences for the most part...

-Varűn: 08-31-09