Its Only On The Edge We Know Who We Really Are...

I just had to leave New Jersey. They were willing to pay me 58K an year but it didn't make sense, I never wanted to be a SAP Consultant. I came back to San Francisco. After purchasing the flight ticket, I only had a couple of dollars left which were nothing more than peanuts in a city like San Francisco.

Although the first few weeks went fine, i mean i didn't have a job but at least a place to crash. I stayed with a friend at the motel he used to work. Room no.100. To be frank, I wasn't living, I was hiding - if the owner would come to know of me sneaking in and out of the motel, we both could have gotten kicked out. It was more than just embarrassing.

But all the good and bad things come to an end right..i had to move out of that place coz' my friend was going back to India. It was even more difficult because just a few months ago I used to rent a studio for myself in this city and suddenly I am trying hard to find a place to sleep.

By then, i was posting my resumes to find a job while working as a clerk at a gas station. I needed an advance for a room I found close to my workplace. I started working double shifts to earn extra money and it would also serve my purpose of being somewhere than being anywhere. I used to work 16hours straight-4pm to 8am and would sleep at the back of a taxi car parked at the gas station. Would hardly get 6-7 hours sleep, would grab something at a local deli and get back to my 16hr routine.

If i worked during the day, the Muni would take care of me at night. I will never forget the 22 bus line which ran from Fillmore to the Potrero hill. The night sights & lights, the empty streets of San Francisco still move in front of my eyes, whenever i feel nostalgic. I would hop-on the bus, sleep to the last stop, wait for the next bus to start, basically do this the whole night.

I was never really ashamed of what i put myself through. I have learn't to appreciate the little things we usually ignore and take for granted. Moreover, I never really imagined i was capable of going through such a phase. As much as i have learnt from my experiences, i have learn't a part of myself.

After all, it's only on the edge we know who we really are...

-Varűn: 08-02-11

An Adventure Opportunist

First of all how do we define Adventure?

Is it a roller coaster ride, a hike in a park or a cross country drive?

In this technological advanced world, we plan everything, and we know what we are getting into because we've researched all details of our trip on Trip advisor and guidebooks, or have asked a travel agent to arrange all details of our trips. Yet we call our trips to faraway places an “adventure”.We ourselves have eliminate the opportunity to rediscover the authenticity of life, which a travel can offer. And we end up returning home the same as when we left. I think the word adventure is over used and ripped apart but really, adventure is something that happens when you don't plan for it. Ok, lets put it in an other way. What's the most memorable moment in our travel? Based on my experiences, what sticks out for me is the moment when things go unexpected, even for a little while. Such situations stay with us because they are more real.

For me travel has never really been about the destination. It has always been about the journey and the experiences I have encountered through my choices along the way.

The most unexplored territory in the world is My Life. Becoming an adventurer for me just does not limit to travel. Adventure is not a start-stop switch where you want to experience it while you are traveling and don't while you're not. For me, it is about making a commitment to explore my life each and every day. All it really takes is a shift in focus — a movement toward breaking out of our usual ruts and grasping the adventure in every moment, every experience.

I guess I have internalized my sense of the adventure and I must live up to it alone.

-Varűn: 30-03-11

Q & A

Why go alone?

Its just a chance to be alone with your thoughts, to get to the point where you just are just experiencing what there is to feel and to be in the moment here.

I mean its kinda selfish but it heightens the experience of what there is,
Testing yourself, pushing the limits, the self reliance becomes the bigger part of the experience when you are by yourself.

-Varűn: 22-03-11

Wow, I still cant believe November 2009 was my last post.

I was in a phase where i had second thoughts.

I guess I drew a line. I don't know may be i was disconnected from this idea.

-Varűn: 21-03-11